"Kadi have you seen my boots?"

She looked up from the baby she was dressing and sighed, "Beside the sofa
where you left them Tom." She glanced back at the wriggling infant, "Your
father would forget his head if it weren't attached." She leaned down and
nuzzled the baby's neck, then brushed a light kiss across the tiny brow
before placing him back in the crib and reaching for his brother. "Tom," she
called out as she placed the second baby on the changing table, "Are you
dropping the boys in the Children's Center or am I." She waited a beat, then
frowned when he didn't answer, "Tom?" The frown in her brow grew deeper,
"Well I guess I've got my answer." She sighed as she finished changing the
diaper, then lifted the child to her shoulder and walked out of the small
nursery, confirming what she already knew. Once again, Tom had left without
saying goodbye. Kadi shook her head and fought back the tears that
threatened, "Gee Tom, see you later, have a nice day, I love you too." She
sighed yet again and rolled her eyes, then carried the baby back into the
nursery to finish getting him ready.

She dropped them off as usual, then reported to duty as usual, then just as
usual, her husband never even noticed when she arrived. It was a pretty hard
fight to hold back the tears, and swallow against the ache in the back of
her throat, but somehow she managed it. She made herself forget he was there
and went on about her duties like she always did. Which was difficult
because usually by now he was trying to talk her into a jefferies tube,
well, before her pregnancy had prevented them from making love, he would
have been trying to talk her into a jefferies tube, all the while using his
hands to coerce her into it. Now however, things were a little different.
They no longer rendevoused in jefferies tubes, or turbolifts, or even their
own damned quarters. She fought back the bitter taste of resentment, but it
was hard, her sons were almost 12 weeks old, it had been 5 weeks since the
Doctor had given her the go ahead for sexual activities, and still her
husband hadn't touched her.

And what she couldn't quite figure out, was why. They had both wanted these
babies, even if they hadn't planned on getting pregnant when they had, but
they'd wanted them. They had been fine all through out the pregnancy, it was
just after Kade and Kale had been born that Tom had begun to distance
himself from her. Well sure her figure had changed, she had stretch marks on
her breasts and belly, but what mother didn't. And naturally she wasn't a
perfect size five anymore, she was pretty damned pleased she was down to an
eight, even if she had worked her ass off to get there. Which was difficult
considering that she was still nursing, and having twins that depended on
her every minute of every hour of every day on top of trying to keep up with
her duties in engineering was taking every ounce of energy she could find.
But she'd done it, and she hadn't even done it for herself, she'd done it
for her husband. A husband that hadn't even noticed, a husband who appeared
to not be interested, and a husband who was now leaving to have lunch with
his best friend rather than say two words to his wife. Well, he spoke to
her, but only when he needed something, like his boots, or his pip or his
misplaced data padd, or when one of their sons was crying and of course
mommy knew how to make him stop.

Kadi swore when she dropped the hyperspanner, then regretted it because it
had earned her a concerned look from B'Elanna. She inhaled deeply and let it
out slowly as the Chief Engineer moved over to where she worked on the EPS
conduit. "You know, if you're going to throw things around in my
engineering, you should at least do it where I can't hear you."

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," she mumbled as she bent back over the
conduit to finish the routine maintenance.

"Hey," B'Elanna put a hand on her shoulder, "it was a joke, are you
alright?" She frowned at the young woman, a little surprised at her recent
attitude. Ususally the woman before her was laid back, confident and quite
spirited, and not the silently brooding character she saw before her now.

"I'm fine," she glanced up only momentarily, "just not sleeping well that's
all."

"Ah," B'Elanna nodded, "the joys of being a new mother, I remember them
well. Don't worry," she gave Kadi's shoulder a squeeze, "it gets better, I
promise."

Kadi grunted, "Yeah so everyone keeps telling me, but I'll believe it when
it happens."

B'Elanna chuckled, "Don't worry, by the time those boys are a year old and
walking you'll be wishing they were infants again."

She snorted, and didn't sound very convinced, "Like I said, I'll believe it
when it happens."

The older woman shook her head, "Tell you what, why don't you take the rest
of the day off. Leave the boys in the Children's Center and just take a few
hours to yourself." When Kadi started to object B'Elanna held up a hand,
"Don't be an idiot Kadi, opportunities like this one don't come around very
often, take it and enjoy it. Catch up on your sleep, or read a novel, hell
go find Tom and spend the afternoon in bed."

Kadi smiled gratefully, even though all she really wanted to do was cry,
"Thank you Aunt B'E, I appreciate it." She handed over her tools and left
Engineering, making it all the way to the turbolift before the tears welled
in her eyes. She leaned back against the wall of the 'lift and took a deep
breath to hold them back. Then tapped her combadge, "Kadi to Tom, I just got
the rest of the day off, you wanna meet me in the holodeck?"

"Oh Kadi..." She counted the seconds as he paused, "I'd like to, but I
promised my Mom I'd help her in Astrometrics, I'm sorry. But hey... why
don't you go ahead and go without me. I'll pick the boys up when I get off
duty and we can have dinner in our cabin."

She closed her eyes, counted three beats, then, "Fine, I'll see you then,
Kadi out." The tears welled again, they were tears of rejection and
disappointment. What was so special about Astrometrics that he couldn't get
out of it? He'd done it before... to be with her to be exact. Kadi shook her
head and drew herself up straight, to hell with it, she'd just do as
B'Elanna suggested and take the time for herself. She ordered the turbolift
to take her to her deck, then got off and made a beeline for her cabin
before she could change her mind.

Damn men anyway, who needed them. That was what she thought as she stripped
out of her uniform and pulled on an oversized sweater and a pair of
leggings. She hesitated by the mirror for only a moment, pushing aside
thoughts that it made her look dumpy. It wasn't like she was dressing to
please anyone anyway. She had a husband already, even if he did seem to
forget for the moment that she existed.